What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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