Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
