Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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