I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
