is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
