You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
