U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
