I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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