I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
