I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
