saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
