hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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