id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
