don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
