We won't sleep together?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
