I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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