I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
