I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
