Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
