I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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