Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
