HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
