i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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