I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
