a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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