I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
