I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
