i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
