Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
