PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
