do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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