sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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