It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
