i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize