I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
