Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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