Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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