Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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