Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
