I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
