Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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