im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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