A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
