Pappa wants mamma naked
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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