smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
