Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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