Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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