i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Say something about gay babies.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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