Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
