these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my shit smells like andre
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize