Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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