i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
