It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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