Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
