none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
