? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
