Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
