you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize