Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
we made out on top of his cat.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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